If you are breathing oxygen then you have experienced adversity. Death or loss of a loved one, mental illness, job loss, car accident, bankruptcy, divorce, physical illness among many others tough times life throws at you.
Everyone faces adversity more than once in their lifespan. Research shows that people who engage in intentional resiliency strategies progress through adversity much faster and healthier than those who do not. It also shows that it is possible to make yourself think and act in certain ways that help you navigate tough times.
Based on her own personal tragedy and research, Lucy Hone shares 3 go to strategies resilient people use to work through adversity.
THREE GO TO STRATEGIES
1. They get that “sh*t happens.” Suffering is part of life. It doesn’t mean they welcome it, it just means they know its part of living. They don’t say “why me?” They say “why not me?” The ‘life is perfect’ pics from social media are just not true and they don’t allow themselves to feel shame. Instead they allow themselves to understand reality.
2. They are grateful. They are carefully selecting what they pay attention to; their focus. They are realistic about things they can change and the things they can’t. Negative emotions and experiences tend to stick with us, where as positive emotions and experiences tend to bounce right off. This is because of survival, we tend to pay attention the the negative more than the positive so that we can respond quickly. The problem is, our bodies respond to a perceived threat (gossip/worry/emotional pain) the same way it responds to being chased by a lion. Switching you focus and attention to the positive is helpful. That doesn’t mean not to recognize the negative. You need to feel it and know it is something to work through, just don’t stay in it.
3. They ask this question: “IS WHAT I’M DOING HELPING OR HURTING ME?” Is the way I’m thinking and acting helping me to get promoted, build the relationship I desire, not forgive, helping me heal? Asking this one question gives you more control over your decision making.
Barbara Cochran said that some of the most successful people she ever knew, were the most resilient people. They didn’t stay stuck
So when you are asking yourself, ‘can I come back from this,’ the answer is YES.