Who Do You Know That Does This?

Volatile emotions Outbursts Temper tantrums Mood swings Over-reaction Hypersensitivity Inability to take criticism Jealousy Inability to forgive

Dependence Inappropriate dependence on others Being easily influenced Indecisiveness Making over-hasty judgments Fear of change
Need for excitement Need for immediate attention Needing instant gratification Impulsiveness Superficial values Thoughtlessness Lack of or poor social skills Inability to control finances DisloyaltySelf-centeredness Being demanding Being inappropriately competitive Lack of responsibility Being insensitive to other people’s needs and feelings Lacking empathy Selfishness Low self-esteem Attention-seeking Frequent ‘fishing’ for compliments Needing validation from others


How do you recognize the employee or team with low EQ and why is this important?  Trust me, if you’re having any kind of problem at all within your team, office, or organization I’m positive it can be traced back to low EQ.  This is one of the biggest causes of conflict in the workplace, in people’s personal lives – heck in the world! 

People with low EQ, or a lack of self-awareness and self-control of thoughts, are counter-productive to the goals of the company they work for. Most businesses are formed with a plan and idea of what they want to offer their market.  However, when a company starts to employ a multiple number of employees who are emotionally immature, its focus changes from production to correction.   This is when you the owner or manager begin to question what is going on and why did you want to do this in the first place.

Low EQ is any manager’s worst nightmare because unhealthy levels of EQ in the workplace usually produce poor listeners and right-fighters (people who cannot possibly be wrong.) They will bully anyone who opposes their ‘no-gray-area’ thinking. People with low EQ are self-centered and petty. They take everything personally and have a low tolerance for frustration, which leads to a short-fuse behavior, and if they happen to be in management, they will use every opportunity to ‘power-trip.’ Power-tripping is an attempt to elevate your own low self-esteem and feelings of powerlessness by putting others down. Bullies and gossipers suffer from extreme low self-esteem.  But that’s a topic for another day.  And doesn’t this sound like what’s going on in our world today?

People with low emotional intelligence tend to have problems with communication which leads to conflict, misunderstandings and worse, broken relationships because of back-stabbing, manipulative tactics, coercion, victim behavior, arrogance, blame and gossiping.

Arrogance, blame, coercion, and victim behavior are indicators of low EQ because the result is always the same – refusal to accept responsibility for unproductive behavior and/or mistakes.

To improve your emotional intelligence (and your decision making) you need to understand and control your emotional side of your brain.  You do this through five key skills.

  1. The ability to quickly reduce stress
  2. The ability to recognize and manage your emotions
  3. The ability to connect with others using nonverbal communication
  4. The ability to use humor to deal with challenges
  5. The ability to resolve conflicts positively and with confidence

Knowing this and applying it to your life are two very different things.


By mastering the first two skills, you’ll find skills 3, 4, and 5 much easier to learn.

(EQ) skill 1: The ability to quickly reduce stress.

(EQ) skill 2: The ability to recognize and manage your emotions.

(EQ) skill 3: The ability to connect with others using nonverbal communication.

(EQ) skill 4: The ability to use humor and play to deal with challenges.

(EQ) skill 5: The ability to resolve conflicts positively and with confidence.

These five skills of emotional intelligence can be learned by anyone, at any time. But there is a difference between learning about emotional intelligence and applying that knowledge to your life. Just because you know you should do something doesn’t mean you will—especially when you become overwhelmed by stress, which can hijack your best intentions.

To permanently change behavior in ways that stand up under pressure, you need to learn how to take advantage of the powerful emotional parts of the brain that remain active and accessible even in times of stress. This means that you can’t simply read about emotional intelligence to master it. You must experience and practice the skills in your everyday life.

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